Talk:Non-binary/@comment-26413481-20150519023121
Note: I apologize in advance if my language used here insensitive. I am trying find out more about the topic as well as myself and I'm getting frustrated. I am very very confused myself. Okay I am really confused as to what defines gender in the first place. People are telling me conflicting things or very non helpful things such "you are what you are" (???) . So what exactly is gender? What does it mean to not "feel" like a woman or man? I get definitions such as "Gender is a term used to exemplify the attributes that a society or culture constitutes as "masculine" or "feminine". Although a person's sex as male or female stands as a biological fact that is identical in any culture, what that specific sex means in reference to a person's gender role as a woman or a man in society varies cross culturally according to what things are considered to be masculine or feminine.30 The cultural traits typically coupled to a particular sex finalize the assignment of gender and the biological differences which play a role in classifying either sex as interchangeable with the definition of gender within the social context." source: wikipedia But then I get people telling me that gender isn't defined by gender roles/stereotypes/social gender association/expression (ie clothes, cosmetics, etc) - which is exactly the opposite of what this tells me! This is saying that gender is defined as what a culture deems 'masculine' or 'feminine'. This is telling me that gender is basically what society tells me I should be based on what just seems like personality traits to me. Why can't one identify simply as a feminine boy or a masculine girl? What does it mean to be a boy or a girl? What exactly is gender, as a whole, accomplishing? The whole topic just seems like a loop to me. So if i like typically 'masculine' things or exhibit 'masculine' behavior. Am I a boy? or vice-versa. Where does this link with feminism in terms of people perhaps identifying as male because of the pressures society puts on being a woman? This by no means is me dismissing the experiences of trans/non binary/gender queer,etc. I respect their identities. But who am I to request information on their personal experiences? It's not my place. So i come here. If gender is simply concepts associated with what is masculine or feminine as defined by our cultures, why is it entertained? why is it any different from abiding by/enforcing gender stereotypes (which are culturally defined)? Why isn't it acknowledged as an overall oppressive structure to attempt to box humans into what, over time, developed as gender roles? Where do people who choose not to conform to gender roles stand? Does that make them any less of the gender associated with them (assigned at birth)? Is it all a matter of us entertaining what we think being 'male' or 'female' entails (which is without a doubt culturally/socially influenced) . I'm not understanding why it's anything beyond sex. Everything else just seems too conceptual, wavering and personality-based. (i'm on the verge of not identifying as anything because I am stressed. this is either too complex or too simple and someone is holding out on me. be straight forward. can someone please help me and give me solid answers and not just some half assed, vague pat on the back.) *Again I am so sorry for coming off insensitive, I just wanted to avoid baseless, rotating answers that i feel like i would get if i approached my questions otherwise.